Ask Snape!

Alrighty, since we still don't yet have a Snape to RP with us, and because I found similar threads here(CoS board) and here(HPNetwork board) I thought, well, why not just do that? (At least for now).

So here 'tis.

Basically, someone asks a question and someone else replies as "Snape" and everyone can take a turn as Snape. Be as snarky as you like

(also, if you answer as Snape, you can then post a question and let someone else answer you..check out the HPNetwork threads for examples)

I'll start things off
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Dear Professor Snape,
I seem ta be out o' flesh-eatin slug repellant and I can't find any in Knocktu--er, I mean, Diagon Alley. Could you mebbe brew me up a bit, p'haps?

cheers,
Hagrid.

Dear Hagrid,

I will see what I can do.

-S.S.

***

Dear Severus,

How do you put up with all the crazy fan girls?

-K.S.

K.S-

Lots of Firewhiskey. Lots and lots of it.

Prof. Severus Snape
---

Dear Professor Snape,
What do you think of all this fanfiction that's out there, especially the ones pairing you with that cute, brainy Hermione Granger?

Signed,
Curly

Curly -

I suggest you take my advice and not believe a word of this madness. It is sheer folly... silly school-girls twisting reality into insipid rubbish for the mere pleasure of hoping to one day... justify the tragic loss of romance in their own pathetic lives.... Miss Grainger is an acceptional witch, but exceedingly proud and I would have no more to do with her than the giant squid.

- Severus Snape

****

Dear Professor Snape,

If it wouldn't be putting you to too much trouble, I would very much like to learn Occlumency. I've been told you are an expert Occlumens and highly recommended by Professor Dumbledore. I know that Occlumency is a very advanced kind of magic that requires time and practice, not to mention patience. I have ample time, and being a Hufflepuff, diligence is my middle name. Would you be willing to teach me? I understand if not, and I don't mean to be burdensome. However, if at all possible, I am available for lessons at whatever time is most convenient for you. Thanks,

~K.S.~

Dear K.S-
If you wish to learn Occlumency, please be aware that I require absolute diligence & obedience in someone wishing to learn to be an Occlumens. I do not usually take on students and certainly not any one who's not willing to devote a large amount of time to it. The last time I tried to train someone, it was an utter disaster. You can imagine my reluctance to train anyone else!

However, if you are willing and able, we will make a trial run of it. Please meet me at 9 P.M sharp this Friday evening. Also, please start practicing clearing your mind; that is very important! Your efforts this Friday must at least be satisfactory before I decide whether or not we continue.

Professor S. Snape

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Attn. Professor Snape,
Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Sir,
My name is Elspeth Finwick and I write for 'Witch Weekly'. I would love to do an interview with you for our magazine, and, as one of the most famous Potions Masters of the wizarding world, I'm sure our readers would love to hear the real story about you, rather than what that er..Rita Skeeter wrote about you.

If you are interested, please send an owl at your earliest convenience.

Thank you,
Elspeth Finwick, for Witch Weekly

Dear Professor Snape,

It is my only ambition to become an Occlumens or I would not have asked - and if I cannot be THE best, I will be at the very least MY best, and won't quit as long as I'm breathing. You won't be disappointed, I swear it. Friday 9.m. will prove it. Thank you so much for this opportunity, sir! It means everything to me.

~K.S.~


****

Dear Elspeth Finwick,

I do not typically assent to such things; however, I would be willing to do the interview for the time being, but I refuse to provide anything specific. I will give only enough information to clear up any misconstrued ideas plagued by Ms. Skeeter, but don't expect a detailed, in-depth analysis.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape